MÄN's Chairperson: "Care is the Opposite of Violence"

I was one of those young boys that society treats like vermin today. I really did feel like vermin, and no status symbols could wash away that feeling. When you lack self-esteem, thrill seeking becomes a way of compensating, and you end up in a loop of feeding your inferiority complex.

But I grew up in a society where you were given a second chance. My journey would not have been possible today. Each of us is, of course, responsible for our own actions. We must face the consequences of our choices. But when I didn't believe in myself, there were people around me who did. A collective effort was made to try and meet my needs.

There is a tendency to point the finger at "the others" as the bearers of violence. But what happens, when you are the one being singled out as the other? What happens to young people, who grow up with this image of themselves as faulty? If society considers you to be unimportant, you will start to see yourself that way. Vulnerability makes that feeling grow. If we don't recognize and understand this, we risk losing an entire generation of young men.

Fact Resistant Debate

The recent political debate in Sweden has been fact resistant. Stories that spark a sense of insecurity are highlighted, with law and order being presented as the only solution. But security is a feeling, and hard measures do not create that feeling. Hard measures do not meet our social, interpersonal needs. We need something more, something else.

If we truly believe that everyone deserves to live a life free of violence, if we believe in equality, then we must create the conditions to make that possible. MÄN believes that care is the opposite of violence. A harsh societal climate fosters a culture of violence, what we need to foster security is the opposite. We must work for a renewed focus on social needs. Our movement will hold on to that vision, because it isn’t only an idea. We have seen it, in our work. The power of society and believing in the inherent value of every human being.

And me, I’ve experienced it firsthand, the transformative power of someone believing in you, when you don’t have the power to believe in yourself.