Supporting young men and boys

Operated by MÄN, Killar.se is one of our longest-running support services. It is designed for boys and young men—both cis and trans—between the ages of 10 and 25. The core of the platform is the anonymous support chat.

Since its inception, Killar.se has expanded to include regular chat support with a dedicated volunteer and a counseling center staffed by professionals. There, we offer both in-person and digital sessions for young men struggling with their relationships. In 2025, the center conducted 463 counseling sessions.

For several years, the platform has also hosted the peer-support forum Kille till kille (translated: guy to guy), where users can ask each other questions and offer mutual encouragement and support.

The importance of anonymity

The guiding principle for Killar.se is that boys need safe spaces where they can talk about their lives without the pressure to perform, without judgment, and without having to live up to narrow norms of masculinity. The anonymity of the chat is a vital part of this, as it lowers the barrier for being open about experiences and emotions.

- Anonymity allows boys to put into words things they may have never told anyone before, says Micaëla Gripenberg, communicator for Killar.se.

Visitors also highlight anonymity as a key factor in our surveys. One visitor described it this way: "The feeling that you might be judged or feel ashamed doesn't exist in the same way. "You can be more honest. I feel like I dare to write or talk about almost anything compared to my private relationships in my 'real life.'"

Making hard conversations easier

Many of the conversations in the chat revolve around difficult subjects, such as being a victim of violence or abuse, having used violence oneself, self-harm, or suicidal ideation. Loneliness, performance anxiety, and pornography are also recurring topics, along with questions about relationships, sexuality, and gender identity.

Regardless of the topic, the goal is to strengthen the individual's capacity for reflection, accountability, and sustainable strategies for managing emotions and relationships. Encouraging reflection on feelings and personal agency is a concrete contribution to preventing violence—not only against others but also against oneself.

- At MÄN, we believe in the ability of boys and young men to make different choices. When they are given the tools to understand and handle their emotions through means other than aggression or emotional withdrawal, it creates the foundation for caring relationships, says Micaëla Gripenberg.

In this way, the service is an integral part of MÄN’s violence prevention work. Prevention isn't just about reacting after violence has occurred; it’s about early identification of the norms, thought patterns, and behaviors that risk leading to self-harm or the harming of others.

At Killar.se, we meet young men carrying anger, jealousy, or a need for control in relationships—those who harass others or worry that they might, and those who are victims of violence themselves. By offering a safe space to process these experiences, we reduce the risk of violence being normalized or reproduced.

Focusing on children’s rights

Every child and young person has the right to develop, explore their identity, and express their emotions without being restricted by destructive norms—boys included. Narrow definitions of masculinity often limit a boy's agency and quality of life. Our goal is for Killar.se to help more young men articulate their own experiences and values, ensuring they have access to their own emotions and self-determination.

By highlighting destructive masculinity norms and encouraging critical reflection, we can broaden the possibilities for how boys live their lives.

And while our surveys show that 80 percent of support seekers are satisfied, we don't always hit the mark perfectly. One young man noted after seeking help in the chat: "Good help, but he wouldn't tell me which hockey team he roots for. 8/10."

Killar.se at a glance

• Availability: The support chat is open 5 nights a week.

• Impact: 4,382 chats were initiated by support seekers in 2025.

• Satisfaction: 80% of survey respondents felt safe, helped, and listened to.

• Staffing: 50 trained volunteers staff the support chat.

• Representation: Approximately 75% of volunteers are men.

• Professional Support: Staff counselors conducted 463 sessions during the year.